i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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