Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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