I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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