Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
high people should be assigned attendants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
