If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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