A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
