there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he shaved USA in his pubs
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
