Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
