a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
