I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he thought i was a dude.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
