You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
