who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
