We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
