Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
