Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
