You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
