He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
