Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
