We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
