so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
