You smell like stripper and shame
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
