Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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