Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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