We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
