morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think people are normalizing furries
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
