cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
