i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize