i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
