tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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