Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
