i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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