Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you never un-have a 4some
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
