coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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