I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize