I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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