I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
