tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
