in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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