New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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