I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
high people should be assigned attendants
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
