this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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