): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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