im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
