He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
