Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
