yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dignity is for republicans.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
