do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
