At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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