I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
