got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
