Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize