That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
