Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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