I wanna bring you to show and tell
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
