I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wear drunk well.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
