My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
