had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
