I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
