I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
