That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
