I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Less talking, more tequila
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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