just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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