your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
