now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
