I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
