i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize