she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
