I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
