period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
