Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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