Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no, he came in my armpit
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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