You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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